Friday, January 2, 2009
This must see movie absolutely presents one of the best cases ever for the Law of Attraction.
"What we focus on, we attract"....
"Our Thoughts become Things”....
"As a man Thinketh, so is He"….
Linda, very happy and self-sufficient by herself, decided to play with attracting someone "beyond amazing", not really believing anyone like that existed.
Steve, happy alone and very content to live the non-responsible life of a traveling musician unless "the perfect woman" was somehow delivered without any effort on his part.
Both therefore felt released from ever worrying about getting married again. Famous last words!
The universe pulled a fast one and POW!!!
The "perfect woman" and the one "so beyond amazing" collided, over a buffet table at a network marketing companies international convention. Neither could muster the strength to run in the opposite direction and in five short weeks Linda moved her screaming children 1,300 miles to St George Utah. Steve left his four adult children in Salt Lake City and the two would get married the next week, leaving family and friends sure that they had lost their minds!
Thus began our incredible journey together.
As we came together in such a short period of time we wondered how our unique talents and personalities might blend.
- Having independent of each other, built successful businesses, with over 50 years of combined home based and traditional business experience.
- We have both “had it all” and “lost it all”.
- Lived through a terminal illness.
- Survived the divorce process.
- Supported a family as a single stay-at-home mom.
- Have 9 children to attend to and blend in a second marriage.
One of our frequent topics of discussion was:
“What was the REAL SECRET to building successful relationships and business?”
Intense trial and error over the years had taught us both that:
Ø Gratitude is the best cure for anything
Ø Needing Approval from or Control of another person is a sure recipe for Disaster
Ø It is not the things going on around us that cause distress but our reaction to them. Carl Jung was right:
“If things go wrong in the world, something is
wrong in me. Therefore, if I am sensible,
I shall put myself right first.”
Ø When we Change the way we Feel about the World we are Experiencing, the World we Experience Changes.
Ø “Withholding” Thoughts or Feelings under the guise of Protecting someone you Love is the best way to fall out of Love
Ø Feelings of Joy and Happiness come from the Love we Give and NOT from that which we Receive
We still can’t wipe the smiles off our face as we feel so blessed to now be in a relationship with someone that is so easy to feel love for. Keeping our relationship alive has always felt effortless. (It is that “no with-holds” thing).
We accepted this as a wonderful gift, knowing that our real growth would come from learning to feel the same way about the people in our lives that are not so easy to love.
We were excited to discover that we both shared a passion for sales, marketing, business ownership and network marketing. We love sharing and mentoring others in experiencing the lifestyle those industries offer.
We also discovered that we were both at a loss in how to really improve the less than 5% success rate in those industries. We set out to find an effective solution to this tragedy.
What was missing from the many formulas for success that were being taught? How do you teach people the mindset necessary to succeed?
Did we need to just accept the fact that less than 5% of the people are “winners” and 95% plus “losers” when it comes to business? That a few people have “what it takes" but most of them don’t?
We Knew That Wasn’t True
We had learned and witnessed that if you are not making the kind of money or living the kind of life you want, it is generally not because you don‘t know how, it is simply because at some level, you don't FEEL or BELIEVE you can or should.
We are controlled by FEELINGS, BELIEF’S and DECISIONS - Conscious or Unconscious - that keep us in our "Comfort Zones" and thus at our current level of income and happiness.
They are the roadblocks that keep you STUCK and your odds of thinking, affirming or beating that BLOCK away is.... well, you know how well it's worked so far. It is the reason we sabotage our success and so many of us are in “Group”
Until you change your FEELINGS, BELIEFS and DECISIONS about money or love or heath and REMOVE the BLOCKS, you will struggle with attracting a positive abundance of it into your life!
Are you getting the picture?
Have you ever noticed when you decide once and for all to lose 10 lbs by Sept. 1, you end up gaining 5?
Or you set a goal to get out of debt and suddenly you see every amazing, once in a lifetime, bargain on the plasma TV you have been dying for, with financing @ 0% for a year. Then the furnace or air conditioner dies leaving you forced to finance a new one. And on it goes.
There is an explanation.
It is called "Psychological Reversal" or Self-Sabotage. Your sub-conscious mind immediately kicks in to keep you safe, to keep you in your "comfort zone".
It starts by saying something like, "Here we go again" or "How many times have you tried that?" or "That will never work" or "Don't be Stupid!" or "You didn't fall for that again...”
That is Psychological Reversal taking over.
So where do we get these so called “comfort zones”? My conscious mind has no problem saying “I want more income, more love, more motivation and drive”. Why don’t I “just do it”?
Why can't you just "Pull yourself up by your boot-straps and get to work?" (another belief that doesn't work).
Why don't you just "snap out of it", decide what you really want and take action?
If you have done any psychotherapy or emotional work, you may be familiar with the term “Inner Sentence” or “Core Belief”.
These feelings, beliefs and decisions are formed by the time you reach 6 to 8 years old and they determine many of your decisions and choices you make in your adult life. Like whom you marry, how much money you make, how happy you are allowed to be, if you are superior or inferior, if you are a martyr or a victim.
Depending on what you have decided, as a small child; who you are and what you deserve, you will make decisions and choices to support your “Core Belief” and keep you in your “Comfort Zone”.
You might call those unconscious feelings, beliefs and decisions the “writing on our walls”. From the time of our birth, people all around us are writing on our walls. They say things like, “Hurry up! You are so slow.” “Don’t be stupid” etc. Then we make a decision about ourselves, with our child mind, and we believe all that graffiti to be the truth about us.
So What Can You Do About It?
The good news it there are some very effective methods you can use to change your limiting beliefs.
Discover them at:
The Acceptance Book by Steve Stay
The 40 day - Three Step Personal Acceptance Experiment
Steve wrote this book for himself as a reminder of the 40 Day Experiment that transformed his life and career. Included is a section on a new way of experiencing and succeeding in Network Marketing.
Accept Abundance by Linda Stay
Linda shares our favorite new breakthrough technique with which you can locate and blast through limiting feelings, beliefs and decisions at mach speed.
Discover a technique that acts like an eraser, wiping the walls clean of hidden limiting feelings, beliefs and feelings and replaces them with feelings, beliefs, decisions, thoughts and speech that serve you more kindly.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
This presented a dilemma as I did not have the luxury of a husband who was willing or capable of bringing in the income we needed. Thanks to an overly optimistic father who taught me I could do or have anything I set my mind on, I began the search for ways I could support and be home to raise my family.
I did everything from:
- piece work for a wedding catalog, working all night after babies were asleep.
- vacuum sales
- newspaper route
- school bus driver
- diet counseling
Anything I could to be a “stay at home” mom.
I decided to open a lollipop factory. In a short time I had numerous employees, (babysitting teenagers), had borrowed $80,000 for the FDA kitchen and had maxed out the operation. I was living the supposed "American Dream" of owning my own business.
I only wished I had been warned about the huge cost with overhead, wages, employee taxes, workman’s comp and so on. Not to mention the commitment to be there 24/7. I had very little time away from the factory. But it did provide a modest living and a way for me to have the children with me. It became a family affair.
Like many in my situation, I was burning the candle at both ends, hardly taking time to breathe. I had opened an Antique Boutique and Scrap Booking store. I was very involved with my church, working 2 days a week with the youth and by now I had five very talented children involved in dance, piano and sports.
I was the ultimate human-“doing” and very little human-“being”
I had been taught pretty good coping skills, (my ultra optimistic father) i.e. “just take one day at a time” or “pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on going” or “just give thanks and it will all work out”.
From the outside looking in, it appeared I was dealing with the stress remarkably well. In reality, “coping” and pushing through each day is not “dealing” with.
I learned that you can get away with that only for so long. At some point the stress and anxiety, if not released from the body, will manifest in some other way.
For me it came in the form a brain tumor.
I was diagnosed in the midst of training for a marathon. I thought I was in the best physical shape of my life, yet emotionally I was “running” from everything that was amiss in my life….an abusive husband….my lack of self-esteem….my fear.
I was put on medications that completely disabled me, of which I was told I would have to continue taking the rest of my life. Life as I knew it was gone. And for someone who’s self-image was tied to how much I could get done in a day, this was devastating. As quickly as my business had grown, it fell apart. When you don’t supply your distributors, you don’t make money. The income was gone and the bills were pouring in.
Kicking and Screaming to a MLM meeting.
It was at that time that I was dragged kicking and screaming to a Network Marketing meeting.
YUCK, something I swore I would never do.
I was in a very hopeless and desperate place, literally dying on the couch. 'Like I am in any condition to sell anything to anyone' But my gut told me I needed that company’s product. I could not ignore that nagging feeling. So I followed my intuition and called my sister Anne at midnight to borrow the money to get involved from her credit card. I only wanted to make enough money to pay back my sister and stay on the product.
Anne let me know that she would probably get divorced over this. She also cried to me that she desperately needed $1,000.00 to give to an attorney to protect her 1year old foster baby from being taken away and given back to the mother that had tried to suffocate her. Something inside of me told her that I thought we could raise the $1,000 and enough money to pay back the card before any interest was charged. My sister gave me her card #, I am sure only because she couldn't say no to her dying sisters plea.
I set to work, the only thing I knew to do.
That business took off and within 4 weeks we had the $1,000 to give to the attorney, we paid off the credit card and both Anne and I were receiving weekly deposits between $500 - $1,000/week. By the end of my first year I had made over $100,000. With zero overhead and no employees to deal with!
It changed my mind about network marketing!
During that next year the brain tumor was out of control. I was traveling a lot trying to help everyone, still “running” from the pain of my loveless marriage and the fear of who would raise my children if I died. I was in and out of the hospital; took two trips to Mexico to seek alternative treatments not available in the United States; my 14 year old son, (the oldest of the five), had a horse roll over on him breaking his back in three places…. obviously I was not able to work my new network marketing business at all, yet my income, doubled!
The doctors told me I had to “DE-STRESS” my life or I would die.
As you all know, that is so much easier said than done! Finally I found the strength to leave the 19 year long abusive relationship that I had been determined to save. After my life being threatened and fear for the children’s safety, I threw what I could in big garbage bags, took my 5 children from their beds at 4 o’clock in the morning and ran away. I left the house, furniture, clothes and the state to start over and heal.
I was able to do that because of the residual income that I had created, a concept I didn’t really understand until then. Every Friday for over a dozen years a check has been deposited into my account. I never had to worry about finding a job or how I would get the next gallon of milk or how I would be able to support my children when I was not in a position of health to work. I wasn’t “all better” but I was now free to take care of me, to get the help I needed to heal.
Thought I Could Fix It, Love It All Better
Looking back, I realize why I stayed so long. First, I thought I could fix it, love it all better, keep a positive attitude. Failure was not an option. Second, fear of a life outside of how I had pictured it to be, the perfect happy family. Being a divorced, “sick”, single mom of five that everyone felt sorry for was not how I wanted it to be. Money had also been a reason to stay. I could not possibly support everyone by myself…especially with a brain tumor. The residual income from that “dreaded network marketing” gave me the freedom and the options to leave when I had to. I am forever grateful.
The joy of not only creating that for yourself, but for those that you love and care about as well is indescribable. I love that about this business! My sister Anne was able to adopt that little baby (Cora), my parents saved their home from foreclosure. And countless others still receive weekly checks years later as a result of the work we did together. It is life saving!
I hope that none of you ever have a brain tumor. I pray that none of you are being abused. But I’ll bet there are those of you that are already working two jobs and still not making ends meet. I’ll bet there are women reading this that dread dropping their children off at the daycare, but have no choice. You may feel trapped and discouraged. I promise that there is another way, there is hope, less stress, more time, more love and financial security.
Open up and let it in. Accept your Abundance!